Calories we burn whilst having sex!
The Act of Insertion
If the man is ready (same vice-versa) : 1/4 calories
If the woman is not (same vice-versa) : 274 calories
Satisfying Partner (organ size)
Most experts agree that size means nothing. Shape is what counts, and the man with a Shaped organ can write his own ticket. In those rare instances where a man has a genuinely small member, he may have to compensate by working slightly harder, but this is good for weight loss. A man with a really large organ, while he might not have to work as hard once inside, may exhaust himself just trying to convince his partner to let him put it inside.
Normal size : 22 calories
Oversize : 15 calories
Tremendous : 8 calories
Teensy-weensy : 163 calories
Positions
Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other) : 20 calories
Woman on top, man on bottom : 25 calories (Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock.)
From the rear (Mysterious variation) : 40 1/2 calories
Standing
– Both partners of equal height : 18 calories
– Woman 1 foot taller than a man : 90 calories (The man will have to make several rigorous leaps into the air in order to achieve even minimal satisfaction.)
– While in traction : 124 calories
Locations
On a bar stool : 20 calories
Rear of a Honda Civic : 38 calories
In a phone booth
– Standing : 14 calories
– Lying down : 274 calories
On an airliner
– Aisle seat : 24 calories
– Middle seat : 42 calories
– Window seat : 30 calories
– In the lavatory : 100 calories
